Only breastfed babies become CEOs and World leaders?
Have you ever asked the CEO of the company you work for, if he was breastfed as a baby? Have you asked the Chief Minister of your state or a World leader you admire, if he was breastfed as a baby? Or the sportsperson you follow? Or the doctor who treats you? Or the engineer who designs your car? Or the architect who builds your house?
You may feel this is a very extreme approach to the topic of motherhood and feeding. Is it? Ask a new mom who has to answer such queries day in and day out, on top of all the concerns she has for her child. So I am asking you to verify it with the “so-called” parameters of success our World has.
Am I against BREASTFEEDING ? Absolutely NOT. I have breastfed my only child for a year and that has been one of the most beautiful personal experiences of my life, hands down. Read again, PERSONAL. If it is personal you may ask, why am I dragging it in the fore front? Because, others who are not in the circle of influence for the new moms have been making it hell for new moms for quite some time now and I am making the voice heard from the other side as well.
Sometimes it may be out of concern for the baby but most times it is either curiosity or downright habit. We need to stop ourselves from asking some questions how much ever they may itch in our brains.
Which are the questions which are totally rude and should be avoided at all cost ? and what may be the other side’s (new mom’s) problem you may like to consider?
- Did you deliver your baby naturally or through Cesarean? : It is one of the rudest questions any new mom may face which is also followed up by advice about how a normal delivery is better and how doctors today perform c-section to earn more money.
The mom’s side of the story: Most moms will not feel comfortable talking about where their baby came from ( Can you understand how uncomfortable it is if you think visually?). Even if they do mention about their delivery, it is not a sign for you to start blabbering about hundred other cases. She doesn’t care for all the other cases, at that moment her child is the most important topic for her.
It is so shattering to hear someone question the knowledge and intention of her doctor because she is solely dependent on the doctor’s advice. Please do not make her stressed by bringing doubts about the doctor in her mind.
- Do you breastfeed your baby? Does he latch on properly? Do you also feed him through bottles? Do you produce enough milk? ( I have heard so many versions of this question that I can write an entire blog post on it huh): Again. It is followed by a list of so called MILK PRODUCING food items which will ensure you have enough milk to open a dairy farm.
The mom’s side of the story: She is as such scared and stressed by the idea of the little one solely dependent on her for food and nutrition and SURVIVAL, her utmost priority is that. She may have cracked nipples which are literally bleeding when you ask such a stupid question. It takes all her will power plus she is lacking physical strength or she could slap someone in the face at that moment. Dude, we don’t need a list of milk producing items and its none of your business if my baby is bottle fed (at least its fed and surviving happily). He may not be latching as a mother has flat nipples and hours of trying have not yielded the results. The so called breast pumps produce two ml of milk after pumping for fifteen minutes. I mean, you don’t know her struggles.
- Is your baby smaller, less smarter, darker, has a bigger head, etc etc? : May be followed by information and comparison of how breastfed babies are bigger, smarter, fairer etc etc.
Mom’s version: My baby is the most beautiful baby on earth for me, would not want to change the tiniest thing in him. Don’t you make me feel guilty by comparing it will other children. Each child is perfect the way nature and God has created it. Imperfection lies in us for being unable to appreciate the process of creation.
Hope this article helps us understand what a mother actually wants to rant about and is civil enough not to. Let us take a pledge and be civil enough not to make her life hell. Let us be supportive and compassionate towards new parents, their journey is tough as it is.
The author of this article, Kshama Dudpuri is an enthusiastic reader and writer, founder of POISE7 and wants to bring a change in the compassion meter in this world.